Michael Champagne Strength United!!

Hey All!

2010-10-05T07:50:00.002-04:00

Doing fine..tired of talking cancer...email me if you wish.. mchamp@fit-1.com

May Need an Extra Finger

2010-08-04T21:22:00.001-04:00

Prepare..

2010-07-29T08:18:00.001-04:00

Prepare for the worst, expect the best and pray for miracles...

My April 4th Posting..

2010-07-14T07:11:00.002-04:00

An interesting note although the docs are hesitant to confirm my suspicions..

My April 4 posting mentions when I ran into Dave Stewart while playing basketball in my gym. At the time my whole right side went numb and my oncologist blamed it on the nerve damage from the chemo..

Well I did have my last treatment in my right arm and neuropathy followed immediately, mostly on my right side. And I dropped the Oxaliplatin to prevent further damage. But at the time my suspicions were that something else was going on.

Well I now think it may have been a combination of factors. I believe I did have neuropathy from the chemo however I now believe the impact with Dave hit the tumor in my left temple immediately triggering a slow brain bleed or hemorrhage.

So my hemorrhage on June 2nd was a continuation of the April impact. So in effect Dave helped bring the tumor to light potentially saving months or years of undetected growth.

Thank you Dave for helping discover my tumor and potentially saving my life!

Cancer Cannot Kill Me

2010-07-13T07:21:00.003-04:00

Cancer cannot kill me..

OK 3 months on a feeding tube including surgery, chemo, radiation, more surgery to remove the esophagus and a third of my stomach including 19 nodes, chemo again for 6 months, a brain hemorrhage, 3 brain operations, 1 to remove a brain tumor and now more radiation, this time on my brain...and all within a year..

So I am done..yes I may have more complications but..Cancer Cannot Kill ME!

I know..bold statement to make especially considering the odds.

But I still have my faith, my strength, my beliefs, my spirit and my convictions and I now truly believe Cancer will not kill me..

So for those of you that look upon me with sorrow..look no further than the cancer within me as I am not thru fighting..not through living and not done with what I have started..

Before Radiation

2010-07-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

After Suture Removal

2010-07-07T11:26:00.000-04:00

Before Suture Removal

2010-07-07T11:25:00.002-04:00

Before Suture Removal

Brain Surgery!!!

2010-06-23T15:08:00.002-04:00

Yes so these last few weeks have been a little tough..stopped my chemo on the 30th..

Had a brain hemmorage on the 2nd..surgery on the 2nd and again on the 3rd to reduce swelling. Removed a 3rd of my skull...resected the tumor on the 15th, replaced my skull piece, and back to work on the 17th and trained 5 clients.

Radiation starts in about a week to reduce the rest of the tumor.

Mothers Day

2010-05-09T09:12:00.000-04:00

Happy Mothers Day mom! I love you..

Find Your Motivation!

2010-05-09T07:45:00.004-04:00

Find Your Motivation!

I must admit.. my motivation is my previous illness. It gets me out of bed now every morning. I wake.. and my first thought is how little time I have. No.. I do not believe my cancer has returned.. just the opposite! But what if? What then? Life is too short .. too precious to waste another second.

I know many of you think that it is no way to lead your life. But I have been given a gift! Another chance at making things right. A friend that has recently passed claimed he was one of the lucky ones. He was given the time to gather his things.. get them in order..

Well I consider myself lucky too! I have another shot.. a chance to get my life in order. A chance to grow.. to prosper.. to live and have fun.. to feel the sun..

Motivations change.. develop.. We may have many. But today mine is strong and unwavering..

Find your motivation in life.. embrace it and follow..

Six Weeks!

2010-04-28T14:23:00.003-04:00

Six weeks and counting..

Three weeks left before I receive my last treatment at Dana Farber and then 3 weeks left of orals and I'm done! No testing until September so I have the summer off and hopefully that will be it.. Please send some positive energy my way..and do not forget my dad..thanks all..

Dad...

2010-04-26T15:14:00.002-04:00

Received his first chemo treatment today for lung cancer..please add him to your prayer list!

Find Someone that Inspires You!

2010-04-22T12:58:00.004-04:00

My dad is my inspiration. A two time survivor of prostate and lung cancer. He's gone through the radiation, the hormones and surgeries. Only to find out he needs more chemo starting Monday.

Yes he's 79(almost).. works every day.. feels the suffering and pain but refuses to let his illness dictate his life. He is my inspiration.. my mentor.. my dad.. Without his strength and courage I would be lost...

Find someone that inspires you.. study them...observe.. and then do your best to be like them! Don't curl up on the couch.. don't let your illness keep you down. Get out and live your life..

New Direction!

2010-04-22T08:22:00.007-04:00

It has been awhile since I've made daily postings on this blog. I created this site to keep others informed while I progressed through chemo, radiation and surgery... I had promised to end my writings after my surgery and hospital stay as I had considered myself cured and moving forward, even though I had another round of chemo to complete. I felt that if I had kept writing... I would never let go of me disease.. If I claimed it I owned it and therefore I tossed it from my life and continued on..

I've learned a lot along the way..about myself, the supportive nature of the people around me..about the chemo, radiation and the surgery..and am continuing to learn more every day.

I've lived with the pain of surgery, the nausea of chemo, chemo brain, neuropathy..the fatigue of the radiation.. The disappointment of learning there was more treatment to follow.

Most important though is that I've learned to "Live" through the process. Yes initially I was knocked off track. But I have learned to accept my present state and lead my life..live my life..push forward with my goals and aspirations..

I've learned that there is a distinct difference between being fit and being healthy. I've always been fit..always lead a healthy lifestyle.. Don't smoke, don't drink. Eat clean..

But something was missing. Cancer was growing..spreading.. Maybe laying dormant for years. Was it genetics, lifestyle, environmental..who knows. I didn't fit into the risk categories for esophageal cancer.

So it's taken me some time to find a purpose through this. Taken some time to evaluate my present state and find a direction relating to my journey and I think maybe I can help others.. help them cope.. help them maintain dignity and strength.

So stick with me as more will follow..I'm not totally there yet but I'm formulating a plan..a road map for others to follow so If you know anyone in need.. information maybe.. someone to bounce things off of. Please let me know.

My treatment is ending soon however I'm ready to put myself out there to help others.

For those of you that do not know me yet.. take some time to read through my blog. Yes some, if not all, may be a little boring for you however.. it will give you some perspective of what I have gone through and maybe I can be of some help to others.

This blog was initially created to help others follow in my journey..maybe now is the time to lead others in their journey.

Two Treatments Left!

2010-04-04T08:32:00.003-04:00

Just a quick note to those of you that still may be checking..

Two treatments left! Dropped one of the 3 drugs that was causing neuropathy so only taking 2 of the 3 drugs.

Ran into a client the other day playing basketball so now the right side of my face/head, shoulder, arm and hand are all numb...so yeah it was time to drop one of the drugs before the nerve damage remains permanent..

On the positive side...took on another 4000 feet of space and am expanding my business, working again on my web sites...continuing on with work on with my fitness invention and continuing on with my life. Been on hold way too long..so email me if you want to find out more..

Not Dead Yet!

2010-03-05T14:09:00.003-05:00

Noticed some of you have been visiting.. and I haven't posted for some time!

So.. I am doing GREAT!

Been back on chemo since Dec 29th. I have 6-21 day cycles..just started my 3rd cycle last Tuesday. Seems though, that my system will only allow 28 day cycles. Every time I go in to Dana Farber for treatment, it's postponed for a week as my white counts are way too low. So a week off my orals brings my counts up enough for a treatment a week later.

So.. looks like I'm on schedule to complete treatment sometime in June.

Still have my hair, still have my spirit and still have the support of my friends and family so.. what more can one ask for.

Email me at michael@michaelchampagne.com if you would like to catch up!

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

2010-01-07T09:59:00.004-05:00

OK so I was wrong!! Yeah those words tasted bitter but I have to admit that the DANA 400 is not working for me.. and I am stopping as of today!

So.. for all of you that have "stepped up" and exceeded even my expectations.. I thank you all for your support in accepting and following my challenge.

I've learned that in my present condition(state), it is best for me to do heavy weight training and not "conditioning" training. I physically do not have the recovery capacity to continue with benefit as I am continuing to drop additional weight and am currently around 150 lbs...

The conditioning from the DANA 400 is ideal for most that want to enhance their physical conditioning and is an excellent "test" of your capacities.. however, I have found that I do not currently have the nutritional support nor adequate rest for myself to reap the rewards for my efforts.

I had felt that while undergoing chemo, the challenge would have been an excellent way for myself to maintain a minimal amount of conditioning, however I have learned that as the challenge continued, I was actually accelerating my physical decline.

So I am going back to what I do best.. lift heavy, lift light, vary my routine, play basketball... maybe join Tokyo Joe's next door and have fun!

So for all of you that have stepped up and accepted the challenge(and there were many!), GREAT JOB!! You all are truly amazing and I thank you for your support in following my obsessions..

You are off the hook.. the pressure is off.. and you can return to your normal activities and hopefully you have all learned more about yourselves as I have of myself..

I do believe though, that many of you can still benefit from a modified plan.. pick one or two of your weakest exercises and perform them often at home while convenient to do so.. and enjoy the rewards..

OK SO...

2010-01-05T06:37:00.001-05:00

...I did warn you this could get very boring very fast..

Up to 2400 reps not counting today.. more people are joining the effort.. surprisingly as I was not anticipating any company along with the pain.

I must admit I was not able to do any reps Sunday do to lack of sleep.. yeah the stomach spasms kept me awake for a few days but my meds have been changed and now I can rest..

So Monday I had to do 200 reps of each.. usually very easy but no longer...

Anyhow I did manage to catch up so am on target for the 50,400 reps..

Off to the oncologist today for some blood work..

Dana # 3

2010-01-01T17:15:00.001-05:00

...1200 reps and counting..

Oh Tereza...make Tony do yours..

Dana Day #2

2009-12-31T07:50:00.002-05:00

...800 reps done and counting.. and others are signing up! On our way to 50,400...

oh and yeah... pre chemo/cancer pics

Dana Day #1

2009-12-30T14:19:00.004-05:00

My cancer will not rest, nor will the chemo... so why should I??

..my first 400 are done for the day.. how about yours?

DANA 400 Challenge

2009-12-30T14:13:00.004-05:00

DANA 400 Challenge.. as in Dana Farber...

Duration: 18 weeks

Exercises:

Body Weight Squats
Plyo Push Up Bar or Modified to Your Level
Body Weight Backward Lunges in Place
Wall Ball Sit Ups (10Lbs)

Repetitions: 100 Reps Each Exercise(all together or broken up into sets)

Short Term Goals: 2,800 repetitions per week. 11,200 repetitions per month

Long Term Goal: 50,400 repetitions for completion

OK, so here’s the deal… my new round of chemo started on Dec. 29th and will last from 3-6 cycles of 21 days each cycle, so minimum of 9 weeks and a maximum of 18 weeks depending on how well I do with the side effects.

So, instead of taking the negative approach and counting down the days, weeks and months until completion of chemo, I am trying to turn it into a positive… counting up to a long term positive goal.

Yes in the beginning it will be easy for me and my reps will come without much effort. But I am expecting there will be days where I won’t be able to do one rep. or complete the cycle. That’s ok, but the lost reps will have to be made up over the week or I will not be able to continue.

Others that choose to accept the challenge, may find it hard at first. That is ok and even expected. Break it up into sets of 10 throughout the day.. 10 squats, lunges, sit ups and push ups. First thing in the morning and last thing at night are easy ways of getting many in.

I can assure you though, the longer you do it the easier it will become.

So I am starting on Dec. 30th… one day after my first treatment and one day before my 51st birthday. The others accepting this challenge can start anytime.

Dark Side..Waiting

2009-12-29T15:11:00.002-05:00

Waiting for my old friend to return...hope he's nice to me this time...yeah the toilet-gargoyle...

Happy New Year

2009-12-29T14:47:00.002-05:00

Ok so yes I did say I was done with this blog... but, that was before they found 7 positive lymph nodes from my last surgery on Oct 8.

So my choices..do nothing and sit and wait for the cancer to come back. They say with 7 positive nodes, there is a 3-1 chance the cancer will come back. But clinically, I am cured because no cancer is currently detected.

Or do another round of intense chemo and try to kill any remaining cancerous cells left in my body.

With this approach, the cancer could be halted at stage 3 thus preventing cancer from reoccurring in other organs.

If I do nothing and wait, if cancer does come back, it will be stage 4 and the best they can do is treat the disease but not cure it...presently at stage 3, it can be cured with the chemo.

But there are no guarantees... kind of like purchasing an insurance policy that may not be needed, and may not cover you if it is.

So guess what I chose..yup...sitting here at Dana Farber now.. getting my first dose of Oxaliplatin and Epirubicin.

The third, Xeloda will start twice daily when I get home.

So stay tuned, I will not be posting often as I believe that I am cured..and you don't need the details of my side effects.. nausea, hair loss, neuropathy, fatigue..

But looks like another 9-18 weeks before I come out on the other side..

Mom's Birthday

2009-12-09T08:36:00.004-05:00

Well Mom it's your Birthday and you are still sleeping so I cannot call and harass you yet..

So.. I have a couple of videos to share with the world.. well my world anyhow...

You have seen them before but.. thought I'd post them here for all to see, and so you may stop by any time at your leisure... so as to remind you of your "Favorite" once again..

Happy Birthday Mom.. Rita.. I love you and could not ask for a nicer "Mom"..

Basketball Sunday!!

2009-11-08T12:04:00.002-05:00

Had to tell someone.. even though no one is listening...

One month to the day I've made it back. One week later than promised but I'm back!! ..and it feels so good!!

2009-10-18T07:39:00.000-04:00

Results Are In..

2009-10-15T12:17:00.003-04:00

Swallow test indicates no leaks(actually the radiology guys told me, couldn't wait for my doctor to get back from lunch)..so looks like I'll start my liquid diet today!!

They have there plan and I have mine, both of which I consider conservative..

I have said more relating to my progression from this point, so for those of you that has missed my last post, please read it...and for all of you..thank you and god bless!

Ending Soon.

2009-10-15T06:57:00.007-04:00

For those of you that know me really well.. you knew this wouldn't continue..

Well guess what.. after providing the results of my tests later today, I have decided to end this blog. Yes I may leave it live for awhile however once the results of the tests are reported I have completed what I have started.

I have never considered myself a cancer patient nor did I want to be view as one. If I continue along this path I may start to feel like a survivor which I also do not want.

I have experienced much in these past few months, but it is only a small part of a much more meaningful life and I do not want to dwell on the details nor do I want to continue reporting on something that may now be much less significant.

Yes I still may have a few issues relating to my recovery or my diet, but these no longer require daily posts or updates. We all have experiences, we all have issues and we have pain and discomfort. Continuing to report on mine only keeps me in the moment and not the future. The negative and not the positive.

I had chemo, I had radiation .. I had surgery and I have had cancer. Those are all in the past now and I choose to be moving forward.

For those that wish, you may call me or email me for updates at any time and I would love to hear from you.

So thank you all once again for your words, your thoughts, your compassion and your friendship. You have made my summer much more tolerable and my discomfort more bearable. I'll be back later to give you the positive results.

Coming Soon..

2009-10-14T12:03:00.002-04:00

I couldn't even begin to tell you all the testing I have had since my stay but..most important is my swallow test tomorrow..

After the swallow test, a day or two on liquids than maybe soft liquids... and the two drains in my neck will be removed.

No real food for awhile but hey..been so long now since any real calories, I can wait..

Decided To..

2009-10-13T17:42:00.001-04:00

.. stay for the swallow test.. had them move me to a suite! Well not actually but it is a semi private room with a wall separating the two beds.. and the rooms are much larger so I won that battle... smelly can suffer in his own oder..

Here We Go Again..Jevity 1.5

2009-10-13T17:14:00.003-04:00

Yeah so they will never learn...after 6 days of absolutely no calories...plus 2 days of just liquid calories which adds up to nothing.. this evening they are starting me on 10cc's per hour of Jevity 1.5 tube feed..

OK...lets do the math here.. at 10cc's per hour thats 15 calories per hour..

A 10 hour hookup to the Tube feed will give me 150 calories.. less than a can of Coke..

Won't be able to eat until Thursday earliest.. think I'll be loosing weight again? Think I am out after the swallow test??

OK..Need Someone To Convince Me..

2009-10-13T05:21:00.003-04:00

That I am not leaving very soon..

I've been lucky so far in that I have only had a roommate for one night of my stay since last Thursday.. much of that is luck and the other is the fact that I was in ICU and you always get a private bed..although not as nice..

Well all that changed last evening and I find myself pushed out into the visitor weighting area at 4:45 this morning.

Yes it seems much of the Thoracic Surgery department is at some conference and they will not be performing as many surgeries this week.. at least not today.

So this being a city hospital and now having some temporary beds in the Thoracic unit.. last night they decided to turn these open beds into ER beds.. so yes my first roomy was a gentleman that decided to fall off a ladder and bust something up. I'd know more but they lost me when his most critical desire was to take a dump in his bed with all the attendants helping. Yes they asked and he requested a nice crap right there in bed..

So after shuffling him around, cleaning his sheets, cleaning him off and I assume themselves also.. they decided he was done there as perhaps someone more critical could use his now warmed sheets..

And yes for those that are laughing.. I could not see but only hear(and smell) as our divider curtains separated me from my new found friend.

Next.. OH yes there is a next(the last was accomplished by 2:30)... was a heavy, gentle, but moaning man that seemed to have a digestive issue as he was throwing up blood. How do I know he's heavy you ask.. trust me one learns fast by the meds he's on.. the sound of his voice and the strain in those springs.. and the symptoms he claims.. Yeah you guessed it... lost my concentration again when one of the attendants asked about the sores on his skin and he claimed it was bed bugs.. and requested they help him with them also..

So I'm sitting here in a public weighting room.. jeans and sneakers on.. yeah that thought I was running.. OH and again for those wondering.. on the way past was a 300lb naked man with sores on his skin.. right again was I..

So I have some decisions to make today.. I'm still on IV.. still on the pain meds.. my oxygen levels are down from the lung stuff and I cannot eat..

But Exeter hospital is clean, Exeter hospital is close to home and Exeter hospital is qualified to handle the rest. Insurance is a concern and the transfer is in question so.. help me caus I think I'm gonna run..

Doing Great!

2009-10-12T06:50:00.007-04:00

OK so I have told some of you how well I am doing and how great I have been feeling. Much better than I could have imagined. Especially since I am entering my 7th day of no food. That's right.. my pre-surgical diet started 2 Sundays ago with low fiber... and my pure liquid diet started last Tuesday and Wednesday.. and as of surgery day on.. I have had no liquids at all. Nothing..

So obviously is is starting to take its toll.. this is my fifth day of no food, no liquid.. nothing.. preceded by two days of liquids..

I believe J-Tube feeding will start tomorrow as they want my tube volume up by release.. here we go again.. been through this before...

OH and can you imagine.. yesterday(Sunday) I weighed 176lbs. And I believe I entered the hospital at a little over 160lbs. So I've gained about 15lbs of fluid.. All from my body holding IV fluids.

And tubes and such.. In addition to my j-tube(feeding), I now have 2 drain tubes in my neck and 1 in my side right lung... all 3 hooked up to a suction pump to pull fluids out.

Moving on to my catheter, yeah.. probably do not want to be thinking about that one..ugh..

OK now my heart.. I think I can count 10 electrodes connected to my chest and side torso.. all of which are connected to a 5lb portable monitor which I carry in the pocket of my johnny.

Moving on to my IV's..OH before I forget.. one of the neck drains goes down to be stomach and sucks up the acid and transports it into a portable suction device that I also pin onto my johnny.

Back to the IV's... two have been removed and the two remaining are for my no calorie IV fluid which provides fluid only and electrolytes.. and the other is for pain meds which I control and use.

Now on to my epidural.. initially used as part of my anesthesia.. now used as another form of pain control. It is located about mid shoulder and controls my pain neurologically where the other controls my muscular pain.. basically speaking.

Now both of these self controlled pain medications are to help mostly control my breathing.. based on the fact that they had to collapse my right lung to get at the operation site. Oh and my breathing will be some time before it is normal again.. and the more medication I administer, the less chance of pneumonia. OH and today I think I am finally off the oxygen.. first the breathing tube which is another story in itself and the absolute worst part of the whole experience, and now the nose tube.

So I am past the counting point of how many attachments there are, but every time I have to get up or go for my dreaded walk.. I can only think of an over decorated Christmas tree.. All the attachments.. resting on a walker with a nurse in tow to pull along all those machines..tubes hanging from everywhere. Or better yet.. anyone out there read Gulliver's Travels?? Think about the book tonight as you try to sleep..

OK so back to feeling great! Brushing my teeth.. bending over the sink is a task.. the nurse wants me doing it in a chair.. with a bottle of mouthwash and spit cup..

It's easier..actually preferable to my to lie in bed rather than to walk.. now those that know me would think just the opposite.. but with all my tubes and attachments.. it is just the opposite.

OK I'm going to stop here for now.. all of this is sounding way too negative which is not my intent..

Point is..this whole adventure could really suck or it can be very manageable. I choose very manageable so yes.. everything is great and it really is much easier than I could have imagined.. will keep you all posted..

Computer Down..

2009-10-11T17:29:00.002-04:00

OK So I apologize to all that have emailed me as my computer at work is down.. Billy will reboot it Mon or Tuesday and I will get back to all..

This computer accesses my computer at work and I have so many email addresses going into the same account and I do not have the information here to reconfigure my POP's..

so I must wait to answer after Billy reboots.;; I do apologize and want to email so many people.. if I cannot resolve this by Tuesday I will set up yet another account.. thank you all and will be talking soon.. yes I am doing great but am very sore.. uncomfortable.. irritated and cannot wait to leave but looks like Thursday
will be the soonest.

Missing One..

2009-10-10T19:41:00.001-04:00

He's Back..

2009-10-10T19:29:00.001-04:00

Love my dad..will beout of ICU soon.. more to come..

OH...And Please??

2009-10-07T18:50:00.005-04:00

I really do not know how to ask.. so I will be up front in asking that you all please wait.. I do know your intentions are good and I cannot thank you enough.. but if I am to recover as fast as I plan, and beat the doctors constraints.. than I must ask that I do not receive visitors while I am at the hospital.

I do know this sounds cold.. and that I am trying to be tough.. and that you all think I am trying to get through this on my own.. but I must ask that those that plan on visiting.. please.. PLEASE do not!!

I would really love to see you all, and I really do appreciate all that has been done for me. But I will be in pain and I will be exhausted. And my entire family will be with me treating me well for the weekend. And I NEED my rest as I have my own expectations.. and if I am to meet them than I need to rest.. need to sleep and need to eat so I can become strong again.

I am really serious and ask that you tell all that do not read this blog.

Love you all.. cannot thank you enough for all that you have done and the comfort you have given me. I have said it before and I will say it again. You have all stepped up.. done more than I could have ever imagined and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My cell is 978-973-2732 and email is mchamp@fit-1.com

Will have them both with me and will gladly answer all as soon as I am able..

And for those of you that have read my blog.. tomorrow I am "Bouncing Back!!"

Thank You!!

2009-10-07T18:48:00.001-04:00

All of you!! And sorry for all the calls I was not able to return.. my intentions were good but time was not on my side.. will catch up with all after surgery.. vacation is starting!!

Liquid Diet

2009-10-06T09:34:00.000-04:00

OK this sucks..liquid diet for the next two days..ugh!!

Showing Off One last Time!!

2009-10-04T12:09:00.001-04:00

Not too many days left to show off.. so here goes..

Go Figure..

2009-10-04T10:44:00.002-04:00

Just when I'm starting to feel normal again I have to go in for surgery.. felt really good at basketball this AM.. wonder how many Sundays I'll be missing??

I say I'm showing up again by Halloween.. any betters out there??

Basketball Sunday!!

2009-10-04T05:51:00.002-04:00

Last one for a few weeks.. going early so will have a full morning.. surgery this Thursday...

Pre Op Appointment

2009-09-29T11:16:00.001-04:00

Had my pre-op surgery appointment today at BWH..everything went well so surgery is scheduled for the 8th of Oct as planned.. 7am.. 7 hr surgery..more to come..

I know.. Blog's getting boring.. not much to report but promise things will get more interesting next week..

PET Scan Results

2009-09-26T09:08:00.002-04:00

OK so I've obtained my post Chemo/Radiation PET Scan results and I can share them with you here.. I've abbreviated to make this report more clear..

Procedure: PET SKULL BASE TO MID THIGH Service Date 09/18/09

Clinical History: Esophageal Cancer

FDG Dose: 16.5 mCi

Correlative Studies: The patient has had a recent PET/CT dated 07/16/09 from Brigham & Women's.

Findings:

NECK/CHEST: There is no evidence for FDG-avid disease present within the brain parenchyma. No significant lymphadenopathy is identified in the neck. The paranasal sinuses and mastoid air cells are clear.

Some increased metabolic activity is identified in the distal esophagus at the gastroesophageal junction especially. SUV max is now 3.27 and was previously 7.5 at Brigham. This is indicative of healing and/or recent treatment.

ABDOMEN/PELVIS: Low attenuation in both lobes of the liver. These may represent cysts. However they are too small to characterize on this study. Otherwise the kidneys, slpeen, galbladder, pancreas and adrenal glands are within normal limits. A 3-mm focus of low attenuation seen previously in segment #2 of the liver is again noted and unchanged.

MUSCULOSKELETAL SYSTEM: There is no evidence for normal metabolic activity in the musculoskeletal system. Of Note: a radiopaque foreign body is identified in the right ischial tuberosity with an adjacent deformity. This is likely prior trauma.

IMPRESSION: There is a linear focus of increased metabolic activity involving the distal esophagus as well as at the gastroesophageal junction as described above. When compared to a recent report from the Brigham, this appears to be vastly improved. The SUV-Max is now about 3.27 and was previously measured over 7.

MY INTERPRETATION:

TUMOR of the ESOPHAGUS: SUV values dropped from 7.5 to 3.27 which indicates the chemo and radiation significantly reduced the size of the tumor.

LIVER: My previous PET scan indicated spots on my liver which are small and possibly indicate cysts which could be considered normal. My surgeon had previously told me not to worry about these and he actually took a physical look at these when he inserted the J-Tube feeding tube.

It may still be a concern but my feeling is that my surgeon is not worried and he does not consider these to be cancerous.

RADIOPAQUE FOREIGN BODY: This is the 4 screws from a previous hamstring reattachment surgery and not a concern.

Attention Whore!

2009-09-26T08:42:00.002-04:00

Sorry about the orientation of this video.. youtube edit features are limited.. less than 2 weeks left prior to surgery so I figured I'd get as much in as possible.. my abs will be kind of sore for awhile afterwards with 10 incisions so hey.. show off while I can!! Stop by Bill and try this one for yourself!! I'll even let Eric spot you!

Cancer Cachexia

2009-09-23T13:08:00.002-04:00

I couldn't understand why I had lost so much muscle weight initially so I've done a little research and apparently hard tumors, especially those of the upper gastrointestinal tract assist in the catabolic wasting of muscle mass.

I'm finally now starting to put some weight back on but those that are interested can follow this link..

A Picture is Worth a 1000 Words!!

2009-09-21T19:46:00.009-04:00

For those that would rather not read the boring details...click the pics to see a larger view..

Looks like 10 incisions for the procedure.. along with the 4 for the j-tube makes 14 total..

For all others, you may read more here..

SURGERY!!

2009-09-21T16:46:00.000-04:00

Oct 8th!! ...more to come..

Thoracic Surgeon Today

2009-09-21T08:56:00.000-04:00

Hopefully we'll schedule surgery??

Nadir...Feeling a Little Low..

2009-09-16T21:27:00.003-04:00

What Is Nadir?

When discussing chemotherapy side effects often you will hear the word nadir, mainly in reference to the blood counts, particularly white blood cell count and platelet count. Nadir basically means low point, however further explanation may clarify this term in connection with chemotherapy treatment.

Nadir Affects White and Red Blood Cell Counts as well as Platelet Count.

When chemotherapy is given it not only affects the rapidly dividing cancer cells but it also affects some of the normal cells of the body. These effects particularly occur on normal cells that divide rapidly such as, the hair, the lining of the mouth, the cells lining the intestinal tract and the blood cells (white and red blood cells as well as platelets).

In the bone marrow, the spongy inner core of the larger bones in the body is where blood cells are made. There are very immature cells called stem cells, from which the various types of blood cells develop. These stem cells do not reproduce quickly and are less likely to be affected by chemotherapy. As cells are maturing there are certain phases in which they divide faster. It is during these times that the cells are most sensitive to chemotherapy. The more mature cells can continue to become fully mature cells for several days after chemotherapy is given. When these cells live out their life span, the circulating supply is depleted and the blood counts fall to a low point, the nadir.

Emerging from the Nadir and Returning to Normal

The blood counts will return to normal within three to four weeks, after the body's feedback system has told the stem cells in the bone marrow to increase production and begin making new cells. If chemotherapy is given at the time that the stem cells in the bone marrow are increasing their production this could cause permanent bone marrow damage. The timing of chemotherapy cycles takes this process into account. For example some chemotherapy drugs are given on day 1 and day 8 of a 28-day cycle. The second dose of chemotherapy, one week after the first, is tolerated because the stem cells have not yet increased their production (they are still at the nadir). They have not increased their production because the second treatment is given before the count of the circulating blood has reached its nadir.

The nadir time is usually about 10 days after treatment, although this may vary depending on the drugs given. The concern during the nadir time is that the body's first line of defense against infection, white blood cells (WBC) and the platelets, which help to clot the blood, are low leaving a person more susceptible to infection and bleeding. The next dose of chemotherapy is given only after a person's blood counts have left the nadir and recovered to a safe level.

Cisplatin...

Onset: 10 days
Nadir: 14-23 days
Recovery: 21-39 days

CPT-11...

Onset: 10 days
Nadir: 14-16 days
Recovery: 21-28 days

PET and CT...Testing Starts Friday

2009-09-15T17:25:00.012-04:00

PET (Positron Emission Tomography) and CT (Computed Tomography)..here we go again.. second round starts Friday.. Thoracic surgeon on Monday..

What is Positron Emission Tomography – Computed Tomography (PET/CT) Scanning?

Positron emission tomography, also called PET imaging or a PET scan, is a type of nuclear medicine imaging.

Nuclear medicine is a branch of medical imaging that uses small amounts of radioactive material to diagnose or treat a variety of diseases, including many types of cancers, heart disease and certain other abnormalities within the body.

Nuclear medicine or radionuclide imaging procedures are noninvasive and usually painless medical tests that help physicians diagnose medical conditions. These imaging scans use radioactive materials called radiopharmaceuticals or radiotracers.

Depending on the type of nuclear medicine exam you are undergoing, the radiotracer is either injected into a vein, swallowed or inhaled as a gas and eventually accumulates in the organ or area of your body being examined, where it gives off energy in the form of gamma rays. This energy is detected by a device called a gamma camera, a (positron emission tomography) PET scanner and/or probe. These devices work together with a computer to measure the amount of radiotracer absorbed by your body and to produce special pictures offering details on both the structure and function of organs and tissues.

In some centers, nuclear medicine images can be superimposed with computed tomography (CT) or magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to produce special views, a practice known as image fusion or co-registration. These views allow the information from two different studies to be correlated and interpreted on one image, leading to more precise information and accurate diagnoses. In addition, manufacturers are now making single photon emission computed tomography/computed tomography (SPECT/CT) and positron emission tomography/computed tomography (PET/CT) units that are able to perform both imaging studies at the same time.

A PET scan measures important body functions, such as blood flow, oxygen use, and sugar (glucose) metabolism, to help doctors evaluate how well organs and tissues are functioning.

CT imaging uses special x-ray equipment, and in some cases a contrast material, to produce multiple images or pictures of the inside of the body. These images can then be interpreted by a radiologist on a computer monitor as printed images. CT imaging provides excellent anatomic information.

Today, most PET scans are performed on instruments that are combined PET and CT scanners. The combined PET/CT scans provide images that pinpoint the location of abnormal metabolic activity within the body. The combined scans have been shown to provide more accurate diagnoses than the two scans performed separately.

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What are some common uses of the procedure?

PET and PET/CT scans are performed to:

detect cancer.

determine whether a cancer has spread in the body.

assess the effectiveness of a treatment plan, such as cancer therapy.

determine if a cancer has returned after treatment.

determine blood flow to the heart muscle.

determine the effects of a heart attack, or myocardial infarction, on areas of the heart.

identify areas of the heart muscle that would benefit from a procedure such as angioplasty or coronary artery bypass surgery(in combination with a myocardial perfusion scan).

evaluate brain abnormalities, such as tumors, memory disorders and seizures and other central nervous system disorders.

to map normal human brain and heart function.

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How should I prepare for a PET and PET/CT scan?

You may be asked to wear a gown during the exam or you may be allowed to wear your own clothing.

Women should always inform their physician or technologist if there is any possibility that they are pregnant or if they are breastfeeding their baby. See the Safety page for more information about pregnancy and breastfeeding related to nuclear medicine imaging.

You should inform your physician and the technologist performing your exam of any medications you are taking, including vitamins and herbal supplements. You should also inform them if you have any allergies and about recent illnesses or other medical conditions.

You will receive specific instructions based on the type of PET scan you are undergoing. Diabetic patients will receive special instructions to prepare for this exam.

If you are breastfeeding at the time of the exam, you should ask your radiologist or the doctor ordering the exam how to proceed. It may help to pump breast milk ahead of time and keep it on hand for use after the PET radiopharmaceutical and CT contrast material are no longer in your body.

Metal objects including jewelry, eyeglasses, dentures and hairpins may affect the CT images and should be left at home or removed prior to your exam. You may also be asked to remove hearing aids and removable dental work.

Generally, you will be asked not to eat anything for several hours before a whole body PET/CT scan since eating may alter the distribution of the PET tracer in your body and can lead to a suboptimal scan. This could require the scan to be repeated on another day, so following instructions regarding eating is very important. You should not drink any liquids containing sugars or calories for several hours before the scan. Instead, you are encouraged to drink water. If you are diabetic, you may be given special instructions. You should inform your physician of any medications you are taking and if you have any allergies, especially to contrast materials, iodine, or seafood.

You will be asked and checked for any conditions that you may have that may increase the risk of using intravenous contrast material.

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What does the equipment look like?

A positron emission tomography (PET) scanner is a large machine with a round, doughnut shaped hole in the middle, similar to a CT or MRI unit. Within this machine are multiple rings of detectors that record the emission of energy from the radiotracer in your body.

The CT scanner is typically a large, box like machine with a hole, or short tunnel, in the center. You will lie on a narrow examination table that slides into and out of this tunnel. Rotating around you, the x-ray tube and electronic x-ray detectors are located opposite each other in a ring, called a gantry. The computer workstation that processes the imaging information is located in a separate room, where the technologist operates the scanner and monitors your examination.

Combined PET/CT scanners are combinations of both scanners and look similar to both the PET and CT scanners.

A computer aids in creating the images from the data obtained by the camera or scanner.

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How does the procedure work?

With ordinary x-ray examinations, an image is made by passing x-rays through your body from an outside source. In contrast, nuclear medicine procedures use a radioactive material called a radiopharmaceutical or radiotracer, which is injected into your bloodstream, swallowed or inhaled as a gas. This radioactive material accumulates in the organ or area of your body being examined, where it gives off a small amount of energy in the form of gamma rays. A gamma camera, PET scanner, or probe detects this energy and with the help of a computer creates pictures offering details on both the structure and function of organs and tissues in your body.

Unlike other imaging techniques, nuclear medicine imaging studies are less directed toward picturing anatomy and structure, and more concerned with depicting physiologic processes within the body, such as rates of metabolism or levels of various other chemical activity. Areas of greater intensity, called "hot spots", indicate where large amounts of the radiotracer have accumulated and where there is a high level of chemical activity. Less intense areas, or "cold spots", indicate a smaller concentration of radiotracer and less chemical activity.

For more information on how a CT scan works, see Computed Tomography.

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How is the procedure performed?

Nuclear medicine imaging is usually performed on an outpatient basis, but is often performed on hospitalized patients as well.

You will be positioned on an examination table. If necessary, a nurse or technologist will insert an >intravenous (IV) line into a vein in your hand or arm.

Depending on the type of nuclear medicine exam you are undergoing, the dose of radiotracer is then injected intravenously, swallowed or inhaled as a gas.

It will take approximately 60 minutes for the radiotracer to travel through your body and to be absorbed by the organ or tissue being studied. You will be asked to rest quietly, avoiding movement and talking.

You may be asked to drink some contrast material that will localize in the intestines and help the radiologist interpreting the study.

You will then be moved into the PET/CT scanner and the imaging will begin. You will need to remain still during imaging. The CT exam will be done first, followed by the PET scan. On occasion, a second CT scan with intravenous contrast will follow the PET scan. For more information on how a CT scan is performed, see Computed Tomography. The actual CT scanning takes less than two minutes. The PET scan takes 20-30 minutes.

Total scanning time is approximately 30 minutes.

Depending on which organ or tissue is being examined, additional tests involving other tracers or drugs may be used, which could lengthen the procedure time to three hours. For example, if you are being examined for heart disease, you may undergo a PET scan both before and after exercising or before and after receiving intravenous medication that increases blood flow to the heart.

When the examination is completed, you may be asked to wait until the technologist checks the images in case additional images are needed. Occasionally, more images are obtained for clarification or better visualization of certain areas or structures. The need for additional images does not necessarily mean there was a problem with the exam or that something abnormal was found, and should not be a cause of concern for you. You will not be exposed to more radiation during this process.

If you had an intravenous line inserted for the procedure, it will usually be removed unless you are scheduled for an operating room procedure that same day.

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What will I experience during and after the procedure?

Most nuclear medicine procedures are painless and are rarely associated with significant discomfort or side effects.

If the radiotracer is given intravenously, you will feel a slight pin prick when the needle is inserted into your vein for the intravenous line. When the radioactive material is injected into your arm, you may feel a cold sensation moving up your arm, but there are generally no other side effects.

When swallowed, the radiotracer has little or no taste. When inhaled, you should feel no differently than when breathing room air or holding your breath.

With some procedures, a catheter may be placed into your bladder, which may cause temporary discomfort.

It is important that you remain still while the images are being recorded. Though nuclear imaging itself causes no pain, there may be some discomfort from having to remain still or to stay in one particular position during imaging.

If you are claustrophobic, you may feel some anxiety while you are being scanned.

Unless your physician tells you otherwise, you may resume your normal activities after your nuclear medicine scan. If any special instructions are necessary, you will be informed by a technologist, nurse or physician before you leave the nuclear medicine department.

Through the natural process of radioactive decay, the small amount of radiotracer in your body will lose its radioactivity over time. It may also pass out of your body through your urine or stool during the first few hours or days following the test. You may be instructed to take special precautions after urinating, to flush the toilet twice and to wash your hands thoroughly. You should also drink plenty of water to help flush the radioactive material out of your body as instructed by the nuclear medicine personnel.

For more information on what you will experience during and after a CT scan, see Computed Tomography.

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Who interprets the results and how do I get them?

A radiologist who has specialized training in nuclear medicine will interpret the images and forward a report to your referring physician.

If your physician has ordered a diagnostic CT, a radiologist with specialized training in interpreting CT exams will report the findings of the CT and forward a report to your referring physician.

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What are the benefits vs. risks?

Benefits

The information provided by nuclear medicine examinations is unique and often unattainable using other imaging procedures.

For many diseases, nuclear medicine scans yield the most useful information needed to make a diagnosis or to determine appropriate treatment, if any.

Nuclear medicine is less expensive and may yield more precise information than exploratory surgery.

By identifying changes in the body at the cellular level, PET imaging may detect the early onset of disease before it is evident on other imaging tests such as CT or MRI.

For additional benefits of CT exams, see Computed Tomography (CT).

The benefits of a combined PET/CT scanner include:

greater detail with a higher level of accuracy; because both scans are performed at one time without the patient having to change positions, there is less room for error.

greater convenience for the patient who undergoes two exams (CT & PET) at one sitting, rather than at two different times.

Risks

Because the doses of radiotracer administered are small, diagnostic nuclear medicine procedures result in low radiation exposure, acceptable for diagnostic exams. Thus, the radiation risk is very low compared with the potential benefits.

Nuclear medicine diagnostic procedures have been used for more than five decades, and there are no known long-term adverse effects from such low-dose exposure.

Allergic reactions to radiopharmaceuticals may occur but are extremely rare and are usually mild. Nevertheless, you should inform the nuclear medicine personnel of any allergies you may have or other problems that may have occurred during a previous nuclear medicine exam.

Injection of the radiotracer may cause slight pain and redness which should rapidly resolve.

Women should always inform their physician or radiology technologist if there is any possibility that they are pregnant or if they are breastfeeding their baby. See the Safety page for more information about pregnancy, breastfeeding and nuclear medicine exams.

For risks of CT exams, see Computed Tomography (CT).

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What are the limitations of Positron Emission Tomography – Computed Tomography (PET/CT)?

Nuclear medicine procedures can be time-consuming. It can take hours to days for the radiotracer to accumulate in the part of the body under study and imaging may take up to several hours to perform, though in some cases, newer equipment is available that can substantially shorten the procedure time. You will be informed as to how often and when you will need to return to the nuclear medicine department for further procedures.

The resolution of structures of the body with nuclear medicine may not be as clear as with other imaging techniques, such as CT or MRI. However, nuclear medicine scans are more sensitive than other techniques for a variety of indications, and the functional information gained from nuclear medicine exams is often unobtainable by any other imaging techniques.

PET scanning can give false results if chemical balances within the body are not normal. Specifically, test results of diabetic patients or patients who have eaten within a few hours prior to the examination can be adversely affected because of altered blood sugar or blood insulin levels.

Because the radioactive substance decays quickly and is effective for only a short period of time, it is important for the patient to be on time for the appointment and to receive the radioactive material at the scheduled time. Thus, late arrival for an appointment may require rescheduling the procedure for another day.

A person who is very obese may not fit into the opening of a conventional PET/CT unit.

Monkeying Around Part 2

2009-09-13T21:33:00.004-04:00

OK Bill, Eric...

Bill... you wanted me to climb a pole... but I figured a heavy bag would do.. and Eric.. you are more than welcome to stop by any time to try this for yourself.. must warn you though that it looks a lot higher when you're up there..

For all others.. chemo and radiation are done so now its time to put a little weight back on.. waiting though for my blood counts to improve.. low point is 14-39 days after last treatment so I've just entered my lows and to tell you the truth, it's been a tough weekend as far as my energy is concerned so yes I feel like I'm fighting an up hill battle at times. Fairly dizzy and a little nauseous still, and yes I got a cold on Thursday so have been loading on the zinc and think I've stopped it from being a bad cold but.. more to come this week... and maybe another mini workout for Eric and Bill..

2009-09-10T21:41:00.001-04:00

One Left!

2009-09-09T21:18:00.000-04:00

Last day Thursday!!!

Workouts Begin!!

2009-09-09T06:51:00.003-04:00

OK so I was up to 154 lbs when I was weighed at the radiologist Tuesday so that is about 9 lbs from my lowest. And I trained with weights for the first time since I can remember so hopefully now that my weight is rising and I'm training.. I can get my weight close to where I began.

My goal is to be at 175 lbs by surgery so I do have my work cut out for me..

I did bench my weight Tuesday which is horrible but it is a start!! And I was pleasantly surprised that my remaining strength was quite good.. so yes I am somewhat weaker but now that the chemo is leaving my system my strength is not too bad.

OK so I do have to train legs today so I am certain that will be a different story but my plan is to be back to full strength by surgery..

Oh..and yes most of my weight loss is from the waist down so yes my legs are skinny and my ass is sagging butt...

Two Sessions Left!

2009-09-09T06:50:00.001-04:00

Three days Left!!

2009-09-08T08:13:00.003-04:00

Done with my radiation on Thursday.. and then will be seeing my thoracic surgeon on the 21st! So will be playing the waiting game.. you all know how patient I can be...

Great.. Chemical Phlebitis

2009-09-06T07:31:00.004-04:00

Chemical phlebitis..

- Redness (erythema) and warmth with a temperature elevation of a degree or more above the baseline

- Pain or burning along the length of the vein
Swelling (edema)

- Vein being hard, and cordlike

- If occurring due to an intravenous infusion line, then slowed infusion rate

Yeah just another pleasure of chemo...at the injection site.. guess I'll be wearing my watch on my right arm for awhile.. and I was wondering why the nurse had to stick me 4 times before she was able to penetrate my vein?

Three Days Left!!

2009-09-04T21:26:00.002-04:00

OK so I had my 25th radiation session today and I have 3 remaining next week.

Looking forward to a 3 day break as my tumor seems to be swollen and sore today.. much more difficult getting food down so my calorie intake is down. Three days off should give it time to shrink..

Cousins - Thank You Karen!!

2009-09-03T09:44:00.007-04:00

For my family.. Including Mark and Renee.. others probably are not interested.. click the pics to enlarge..

Yeah.. my ears.. probably not good walking around bald..

Monkeying Around..

2009-09-03T08:20:00.001-04:00

OK so maybe I'm feeling ok today..

Chemical Free

2009-09-03T05:22:00.002-04:00

Just realized today is my first day in months that I am totally chemically free.. no chemo, no meds, nothing..

Still feel like puking when I sneeze but the nausea is almost gone..

And..only 5 radiation sessions left!!

First Looks..What Do You All Think??

2009-09-02T16:13:00.002-04:00

I love it..!! But may be getting a little too cool nights!

No Mo Chemo

2009-09-02T11:35:00.004-04:00

Nothing too scientific. met with my oncologist this morning and a few taps on my liver and kidneys and I have my release..

Apparently the wait now is to finish my radiation and wait for the tissue damage and swelling to go down. Dr. Sims tells me it should be 4-6 weeks before my body will heal enough..

Waiting too long creates too much scar tissue but not long enough and the tissue from radiation is not stable enough..

So 6 rads left and then see my thoracic surgeon on the 21st.. maybe tests in between but not certain??

Maybe..??

2009-08-31T17:43:00.001-04:00

Maybe tonight??

Blood Counts Back UP!!

2009-08-31T17:40:00.002-04:00

Had Radiation treatment # 21 today.. 7 to go!!

Keeping My Fingers Crossed

2009-08-31T05:24:00.000-04:00

Blood work being drawn today to see that I continue my radiation.. 8 sessions left.. hoping!

Basketball Sunday!!

2009-08-30T10:45:00.000-04:00

It helps showing up late.. gives everyone else a chance to get tired..

BIG Shout Out!!

2009-08-29T09:37:00.004-04:00

To Lester Kwock, in North Carolina..

Lester is a five year esophageal cancer survivor and had been instrumental in the commencement of my journey. His compassion, spirit, good nature and positive attitude had really shaped my approach and mental attitude prior to my treatment and gave me my belief that "I will" be beating this with ease.

Lester was introduced to us thru our dear friends Linda and Kevin and as Linda believes, God puts people in our paths for a reason. I now know it was to be able to connect with their dear friend, Lester Kwock.

Les is and always will be a survivor and I thank him for his strength, kindness and compassion! Good luck to you Les as you continue along your path of good health and happiness.. your friends are wonderful and that makes you a success!

Cousins..Thank You Karen!

2009-08-29T07:24:00.008-04:00

Can you all tell which one is me?? And my sis and bro?? Grandma in the middle.. rest are cousins..

My cousin Karen sent it over.. first I had ever seen of it at Green Lakes State Park in NY! Click on the pic to enlarge..

OH..and this is my Mom's side of the family.. the Hughes.. missing my cousin Kathy and includes one friend on the end not related.

My brother and I on each end.. yeah I without my shirt.. and my sister Renee with head turned next to my grandmother..

Maybe...

2009-08-29T07:22:00.002-04:00

Hard to tell at my age.. is it real or imagined.. time will tell?? But this morning looks different..

Radiation Day #21 Postponed..

2009-08-28T13:15:00.002-04:00

Radiation Day #21 Postponed.. apparently my blood counts are too low to continue so looks like more blood work on Monday and a decision as when to continue.. 3 Day Weekend!!

To All My Cousins..

2009-08-27T22:18:00.007-04:00

I just wanted to thank all of you so much from the bottom of my heart! I know for most, it has been well over 35 years since we have talked. But your kind words from all have brought back so many memories, so much love and so many feeling that i cannot begin to express in words what it has meant to myself and family.

Call it what you would like, lineage, bloodlines.. family or bonding.. It's stronger than one could imagine and I thank you all for your efforts and support.

And Becky, Bernadette, it was Mark not I that destroyed your dollhouse.. I've tried for years to control his moods and I warned him that day.. but you both know how he can be.. sorry Mark.. you are the elder and should have known better..

Love you all.. and yes the pic is prior to weight loss..

Bouncing Back!!

2009-08-27T21:07:00.013-04:00

"Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."

"The test of success is not what you do when you are on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."

"No matter how far life pushes you down, no matter how much you hurt, you can always bounce back."

OK so..I do look like shit..literally... and it's embarrassing.. but I have to post this pic.. sorry Mom!

But today, would be considered my "chemical low". The point at which I've received the maximum amount of chemoradiation therapy. Yes I do have 8 sessions of radiation left but.. after 20 sessions completed along with today's completion of my chemotherapy, my body physically has received at this point, the most it will be accepting.

I do have surgery sometime in October however, today.. after my last chemo session, this should be considered my bottom.

So from this point on, I begin my recovery!! And I promise to get stronger every day. Yes tomorrow may bring back the nausea, the vomiting, the diarrhea and the rash.. I may feel like puking every time I sneeze or strain to stand straight when rising from my chair. But from this day forward I begin my ascent.

My stats, weighing in at 149lbs..... or about a 34lb loss.. My strength is half of what it should be but will be getting better by the day. My white blood count should be between 4-11 and it's 1.2 today, my reds top out at 30 when my normal is 43. Yes I will be dropping down again after surgery. But surgery is a day of pain and immediate recovery. Chemo and radiation are weeks of injury and decline.

So my picture you ask?? It's my commitment, my reminder that I may look weak... may look sick, may lack my physical strength.. may be pale and may be gaunt. But I am strong.. I am positive and I am confident. I know the odds, 14 percent survival rate for 5 years.. ranking 3rd worst on the list behind pancreatic and liver..

But the odds don't know me.. my persistence, attitudes, beliefs and drive.

I actually am ahead of schedule.. been on a self imposed emotional and spiritual incline since last weeks chemo. Feeling like beating those odds.. willing my way back to good health. Yes the tube is gone until surgery, the negative feelings are suppressed.. and my energy is skyrocketing.

And I want to thank everyone around me.. my friends my family, Cathi.. my new found cousins.. most of whom I haven't spoken a word to in more than 35 years but everyone..EVERYONE is stepping up and I cannot thank you all enough and only wish I could be the person you all have been for me.

Most important is my mom and dad.. my mom, the sweetest person I know and is struggling with both my illness and my dad's recurrence of lung cancer. My mom actually was at my dad's oncologist the day I received my news.. talk about pain.. talk about the burden of your spouse and your youngest child getting the dreaded news at the same time. I only wish I had her strength!

And my dad.. the most positive man I know and I thank him for my guidance.

I have to mention, still working in his late 70's.. still working through chemo and previous radiation for lung and prostate cancer. Going to work with the fatigue, digestive problems, pain and mouth sores..

When you ask.. "I'm doing great Michael, there is nothing wrong with me!" but dad, you have cancer.. and I always get back.. "I'm alright!"

So how could I even begin to complain..

My brother Mark.. my best friend, my confidant and my strength in knowing that he will always be there in his support and love..

My sister Renee.. when I look at her I see my mom, kind, sweet caring and a rock among the waves.. and only wish I could express what she means to me and my life.

So 149 lbs is how you see me today.. for those of you that haven't seen me in over 35 years, I'll post a current pic prior to my current situation so you know where I'm going to be by Thanksgiving..

So hang in here with me.. I'm no longer sick, no longer negative and no longer struggling. I'm at my bottom and and beginning anew.. I'M BOUNCING BACK!!

2009-08-27T10:13:00.003-04:00

Last chemo happening now!! Radiation ending Sept 8th!!

White counts are down and almost postponed my chemo but the decision was made to continue..

OH No!! Cisplatin Peripheral Neuropathy!

2009-08-26T22:35:00.003-04:00

Peripheral sensory neuropathy is the main non-hematological side-effect related to Cisplatin chemotherapy. Think I'm feeling some tingling and burning in my upper extremities..??

Click the image to see more..

I Guess..

2009-08-26T07:21:00.002-04:00

.. it's great when I'm too busy working to post.. feeling great this week and looking forward to ending my chemo tomorrow.. will write an update later..

Blood Counts Are UP!!

2009-08-24T19:31:00.002-04:00

I guess I went from 1300 last week to about 27500 this week... they usually refuse treatment when it drops below 1500.. however they let me continue last week at 1300. Guess real food may make the difference??

Radiation Day #17 Out of 28

2009-08-24T19:27:00.002-04:00

Eleven to Go!!

Real Food!!

2009-08-24T11:47:00.002-04:00

..been off the tube since Thursday.. better days ahead!

My Apologies..

2009-08-24T10:20:00.002-04:00

.. To Bill.. apparently he may be suffering from more than a cold and I wish him a speedy recovery.. my humor sometimes gets ahead of me.. sorry Bill. Hope you are feeling better very soon.!!

Sis and Roy!!

2009-08-23T11:31:00.003-04:00

And a very special thanks to Sis and Roy for all that they have done for me, their support, friendship and love.. the burden you have lifted from your daughter is invaluable to my recovery and I cannot thank you both enough for your being with us in your support!

Best Wishes To Bill!!

2009-08-23T11:20:00.004-04:00

I'd like everyone to send a little energy to my dear friend Bill.. stuck at home with a sore throat and the sniffles.. We really missed you at basketball this morning and wanted to wish you a speedy recovery.. was really nice seeing Kerry this morning...he he..

Hello Mom, Dad and Renee!!

2009-08-23T10:59:00.001-04:00

Sorry about the "Evaluation Copy"... too cheap to purchase the real version... I knew I would make you proud of my "frugality" mom!!

Basketball Sunday!!

2009-08-23T09:42:00.000-04:00

FIVE GAMES!!.. and Anonymous from my Aug. 22nd post.. I know who you are and this dunk is for you.. no over you..

OK So...

2009-08-22T19:02:00.002-04:00

My second to last chemo treatment was Thursday and I'm feeling pretty good! Did you hear that Bill... yes I will be hitting the court tomorrow morning..

I was planning to go back on my feeding tube on Friday but decided to have a light caloric day gauging how I felt last treatment.. but by Friday night I was eating solid food(Thai from Mapow).. and watermelon this morning and leftovers for lunch.

Nausea is about a 2 and energy is way up... so maybe my system is getting use to the chemo and I'm not reacting so severely however I'm waiting for the hammer to drop.

Great news is my tumor is shrinking enough so that I may eat somewhat normal..so hopefully.. time will tell if I could get a few pounds back??

OH... and I Forgot..

2009-08-22T08:23:00.003-04:00

..two more young adults that brought tears to my eyes.. Christine(one of our Trainers) showed up at the Gym with her son Mac.. apparently Mac and sister made bracelets and sold them to friends.. and presented the money to me.. I have to mention that gesture of kindness was so innocent and so thoughtful... Of course I would never have taken the money but Christine knew I couldn't possibly turn it down from her boy..

So.. now I'm thinking of something creative to do with it..hum..??

Hope for the Future, Strength for the Present!

2009-08-21T16:25:00.004-04:00

I have to express that I have received so much support that it seems impossible to put into words how important it has become for my progress and positive attitude. I couldn't begin to thank all of you for your encouraging words and actions.

But I have to take a moment to mention some of the young individuals in my life, the ones that I have some constant or even intermittent contact with.. my younger clients that give me strength in the moment and hope for our future.

I was brought to tears today as Martha(a client) mentioned her son and my client Caleb had just selected the confirmation name of "Michael" and his reasoning was related to my struggles. (Sorry Martha... you told me I could tell him..)

Now I know I do not deserve this honor nor do I expect this commitment from anyone, but the simple fact that at 16, Caleb has the maturity and empathy for such a generous decision gives me hope for our future and the strength to continue on with dignity, belief in purpose and a positive attitude.

Caleb, by the way, pulled the swim leg of our team triathlon last year in Amesbury. Along with Jason Cox(running) and myself on the bike, we were able to pull off a victory in the team category. And no..Caleb came out of the water in 11th place, I..yes I lost the lead on the bike as one guy blew by me, and Jason pulled it off with a breathtaking run to capture the win. And...it was a first time entry for both the youths! Not too bad for two 15 year old's standing on the platforms as they collected their golds.

Now that I'm on a roll.. I have to mention 3 others..

Jeff Repucci, a recent Phillips Exeter grad and outstanding hockey player and all around athlete and individual. Jeff has displayed more passion for life's activities, events and experiences and more compassion for others than anyone I have seen for his young age and I respect him for his energy and believe in the decisions he's about to make.. and thank him for becoming part of my life.

Tom Larkin, a dear friend of Jeff's and another outstanding young individual that shared the ice with Jeff as co defense-men. Tom was recently drafted by the Columbus Blue Jackets and actually got the call while training with Jeff at my facility.. After.. no actually during the flurry of calls and text messages that was lasting for a good half hour.. and while walking out the door and still on the phone.. Tom put his excitement on hold, returned inside to thank me for the days workout! I have to mention Tom, because his small gestures go a long way in shaping an individual. Tom has since return from summer in Italy(his home) and while only in town for a brief moment before heading out to training camp, stopped in to check on my progress. Now that gives me strength and hope..

One more.. little Derek.. 6 years old and a bundle of joy from the moment he enters the gym. I know, many of you may think Derek may be too young.. but Derek has had his own struggles as an adopted child from Guatemala.. and Richard had the foresight to make certain Derek has the best opportunities available to him and Derek flourishes and his personality, happy demeanor and innocence give me so much pleasure and strength of purpose.

I know I probably could have been more eloquent in my written thoughts but my point is that with so much positive around me... how could I afford to be negative?

So keep your smiles for me, keep your faith and I'll accept your prayers too if that is your belief.. stay strong, stay positive.. and leave your pity at the door because you know I will..

And Coming this October..

2009-08-21T10:19:00.001-04:00

Thank You Dance!

2009-08-21T09:54:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to say a quick thanks to all that have provided their support! I know its not requested nor necessary but I could not remain so strong without my family, loved ones and friends... and I could not possibly tell you how important that is to myself and my progress.

And for those of you that have not seen my dance(which is probably all of you), you must click on the image above to see my moves..

Back to My J Tube!

2009-08-21T09:53:00.002-04:00

Was good while it lasted..

Sorry...

2009-08-21T09:47:00.001-04:00

...Anonymous mentioned mooning.. and I couldn't resist... kind of how i feel about chemo and radiation..

What a Difference..

2009-08-20T15:54:00.003-04:00

..a day makes..!! Yesterday we had a half moon.. now today it's almost full!

One more chemo session to go!! May not appear as positive tomorrow as my IV anti-nausea wears off.. but boy do things look better today!

Yup..Cheeseburger in Paradise..

2009-08-20T13:18:00.004-04:00

..just finished... first one in a long time.. and during chemo..

Bucket List Items...Front Flip!!

2009-08-20T12:49:00.003-04:00

OK so maybe most of you think this maybe a little stretch for someone that is 50... but my initial intention was to master the front flip while I was 50! Looks like my present state may delay this for a bit, but my "Bucket List" still contains the front flip and I will get this accomplished very soon.. currently I've progressed to a break fall.. close but not there yet..

Bill, do you care to join me??

Funny..

2009-08-20T12:24:00.004-04:00

I think the nurses like to play cruel jokes on their chemo patient..

They hook me up to fluids for 2 hours prior to treatment, tell me its to protect my kidneys, then they give me Lasix to make me pee.. then watch me run to the bathroom every 5 minutes with my IV trailing.. and 2 more hours more of fluids after treatment is over.. funny huh?

Here We Go Again..

2009-08-20T11:36:00.004-04:00

Yup..the Cisplatin is first for a half hour, then the CPT-11.

They tell me my red and white counts are way down so.. if the whites go any lower next week may be in question??

So... all pray that they remain high enough, and I remain strong and healthy enough to get through my last treatment next week. They do have a drug that they can administer that could raise them, yes side effects are severe bone pain as my marrow develops white cells..

On a positive note, I did have real food last evening for the first time in awhile, and I'm sitting here getting my chemo and I just ordered a cheeseburger from the cafe... don't know if I'll be able to swallow it but at least I have a desire to try..

Silver Lining..

2009-08-19T14:48:00.003-04:00

OK so maybe some of my recent posts have been a little "dark"..

Just wanted to show you all every cloud... does have a silver lining.. and I still believe it does!!